?

Log in

No account? Create an account
T H I R T Y K I S S E S
// a themed fanworks community //
Theme 15: Snape/Harry (Harry Potter) 
20th-Mar-2005 05:21 pm
im - mask
Title: Lost (found)
Author: atrata
Rating: R
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Fandom: Harry Potter
Theme: 15, perfect blue
Disclaimer: The boys belong to JKR. My initials are completely different.

###

The sky where he’s from is steely gray, wet and cold and cloudy (complicated), unpleasant to watch. He doesn’t know what to make of the sky in this place, so blue it spins when he looks at it, makes him dizzy. He never wants to (look again) stop looking at it.

He lies on the ground, his hands folded behind his head, and stares up. There’s nothing else (he wants) to do. He’s finished with Hogwarts. He’s finished with Voldemort. And the Wizarding world is finished with him. He's not sure what happened; some political games at the Ministry combined with some lies in the Daily Prophet, and all of a sudden nothing was safe. He'd got himself a Secret Keeper and gone into hiding, come to this place with its perfect blue sky. Even he doesn't (want to) know where he is.

He watches the clouds go by and thinks about (remembers) the press of soft lips against his own, the taste of bergamot on his tongue, the scent of vetiver on his skin. One hand (his own, his own) trails down his stomach, reaches into his trousers. He thinks of long dark hair, long pale fingers, a long hooked nose, and closes his eyes. A shadow falls.

"Potter," his Secret Keeper says. "Do you think of nothing else?"

He gasps as Snape's hand replaces his own. "No."

###
Please review.
Comments 
20th-Mar-2005 11:46 pm (UTC)
Fantastic, even if I had to look up vetiver. *g*
Harry & Severus, riding *smirk* off into the lovely sunset. Just how I like it. You said a lot in these few words.
Cheers!
20th-Mar-2005 11:59 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'm not sure it's QUITE as happy as all that, but it's certainly less angst-ridden than my usual stuff. Glad you enjoyed. :)
20th-Mar-2005 11:46 pm (UTC)
This is good. This is very good! It makes me want to reread, and reread. I'll reread it tomorrow and think about it.
21st-Mar-2005 12:00 am (UTC)
Thanks! :)

I'm glad you liked it.
20th-Mar-2005 11:52 pm (UTC)
Definitely bonus points for using bergamot and vetiver in a fic.
21st-Mar-2005 12:01 am (UTC)
*g* I wondered if anyone would notice. 'Find the River' is one of my most favorite songs ever, and I think a piece of it creeps into almost everything I write, even if only in mood. Thanks for reading. :)
20th-Mar-2005 11:55 pm (UTC)
Oh my! It's simply excellent! My favourite pairing - and such a wonderful story... *happy sigh*

And this brackets technique you've used... *admires*
21st-Mar-2005 12:02 am (UTC)
Aw, thanks very much! I'm glad you liked it. :)
21st-Mar-2005 12:14 am (UTC)
Wonderful little ficlet.

Leila
21st-Mar-2005 12:17 am (UTC)
Thanks! :)
21st-Mar-2005 12:50 am (UTC)
Lovely ficlet, atrata - I really appreciated the depth that was in it and the conflicted emotions. I liked the way you were able to hint at larger stories to provide a context for Harry in this place, and of course, I loved Snape.

Thanks for sharing!
21st-Mar-2005 01:16 am (UTC)
Thanks much! I'm always worried that I'll write something short and it'll be too ... shallow? That there won't be enough for it to be a good story. I'm glad I was able to give this one some depth, though. Thanks for reading. :)
21st-Mar-2005 01:29 am (UTC)
I discovered this comm a few weeks ago when a couple of my friends decided to take on the challenge (PoT, MGS3...completely different fandoms), and noticed to my surprise that no one had taken up on Snarry.

Good to see that you stepped up...it's a nice ficlet. I especially like how you weaved in the paranthetical thoughts into the main narrative.

I guess this means there are 29 more to go??? :)
21st-Mar-2005 01:32 am (UTC)
Yeah, I discovered it a while back, too. I didn't sign up, and I kept checking and hoping someone would have signed up, but no one did. I finally couldn't take it anymore, and put in the request. :)

I guess this means there are 29 more to go???

I'm trying not to think about that. :P

Thanks for reading. :)
21st-Mar-2005 03:47 am (UTC)
Oh, I like this - I wasn't sure at first, but I read it a couple of times, then I read the Journal info, and realised what's behind it.

Plus you've been clever with the use of brackets, even using them in the title.

Loved the last two lines. :)
21st-Mar-2005 04:14 am (UTC)
... and realised what's behind it.

Behind what? Have you discovered my Sekrit Plan For World Domination? Curses!

Loved the last two lines. :)

Thanks! I think I should have messed with them a bit more, perhaps made them brackety, but it's too late now. *shrug*

Glad you enjoyed. :)
21st-Mar-2005 02:17 pm (UTC)
*sigh* Oh, how lovely. It's soft and sort of ripe and squishy because there's something gone a bit off, rotten, in the middle (rejection by an ungrateful world), but there's a brittleness about the edges from the brackets. Errr, if that makes any sense. *g*
21st-Mar-2005 07:31 pm (UTC)
It does, thanks! I was going for a something's-not-quite-right feel, so I'm glad that came through. :)
21st-Mar-2005 02:19 pm (UTC)
This was interesting. I liked how you placed words in brackets, such a neat idea. I could almost picture Harry on some strange island, lying on a perfect white-sand beach and looking up at the sky. Well done!
21st-Mar-2005 07:38 pm (UTC)
Oh, I can't lay claim to the brackets idea. I've seen it in several stories, notably Libertine's The Impossible (Fear).

But I'm very glad you liked my little ficlet. Thanks for reading. :)
21st-Mar-2005 03:24 pm (UTC) - Wonderful!
The whole thing flows smoothly from beginning to end. You have the short story down to an art form!

Thank you for saying a lot with so little words.
21st-Mar-2005 07:39 pm (UTC) - Re: Wonderful!
Thanks muchly! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
21st-Mar-2005 03:53 pm (UTC)
i've never been a snapeXharry fangirl, but keep writing like this and you could turn me!!! ;D

fantastic job, i love your style.
21st-Mar-2005 07:39 pm (UTC)
Eeeee, pressure! But I'll do my best. We need more converts. ;)

Thanks for reading. :D
22nd-Mar-2005 01:03 am (UTC)
That was really good -- just indie enough!
22nd-Mar-2005 01:16 am (UTC)
Thanks!
22nd-Mar-2005 10:50 am (UTC)
I've read this about five times, now, and I love it more each time. It's spare the way it needs to be, and atmospheric, and has a beautiful poetic rhythm. I love the turn at the end, when we're mourning a bit (remembering) and then we're surprised. You've made an angsty romance in only a few paragraphs. Very well done!
22nd-Mar-2005 11:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much! :D
2nd-Aug-2005 10:42 am (UTC) - Usually I' not into Snape x HP
But I like the way you write it and eventhough the fic is rather short, there is nothing missing! Nice one!!!!
This page was loaded Jul 20th 2018, 11:15 am GMT.