[fic] Interlude, X (Seishirou Sakurazuka/Subaru Sumeragi)
Pairing: Seishirou Sakurazuka/Subaru Sumeragi
Disclaimer: Seishirou and Subaru are property of CLAMP, I doubt they are going to suffer more at my hands.
The first year was mostly spent in mourning. He packed boxes of flashy clothing, hats and gloves, and gave them away to charity. He kept only a few items and buried them in the depths of his closet hoping he could ever bear to look at them again.
School had even less of a meaning than before, so he dropped out and moved to a new apartment. He started to sleep less and learned exactly how different it was to live without someone reminding him of physical needs. The doctors at the hospital refused to let him go after learning he lived alone, but in the end the weight of his name was enough to convince them.
The second year, his grandmother gave up trying to convince him to stay in Kyoto. She tried to use reason, duty and in the end she just pleaded him to let go. Subaru just stayed silent as the proudest woman he had ever known broke into crying and absently stared at his sister’s empty grave.
He returned to Tokyo that afternoon and tried to drown himself in work.
The third year he bought a pack of cigarettes. He carried them in a pocket in his jacket and forgot about them until a few weeks later. The first try resulted in a coughing fit and the second one made him nauseous, but no more than the memories the smell brought.
He started buying anything but mild seven after that and the nausea subsided.
The fourth year he looked for clues and learned more about the Sakurazukamori clan than anyone else had without falling prey to the assassin. The fact that he had been allowed to do so finally convinced him he had no worth in Seishirou’s eyes, not even as an adversary.
The fifth year, he gave up. When he woke up at the hospital, his grandmother was sitting at his side, looking at him with an expression that was both sad and resigned. He didn’t apologize for the silence and she didn’t mention the subject. She started calling him every few weeks, as if the last years had never happened.
The sixth year he tried to pretend he was doing better. He wasn’t. The stranger was a tall man with dark hair, a blinding smile and excellent manners; but the kiss felt all shades of wrong. No matter how much he closed his eyes and tried to pretend it was him, his body knew better.
The man thought it was a pity the remarkably good-looking young man he had met in a bar hadn’t been interested, but didn’t give it much thought. A week after the encounter, a man wearing dark glasses asked him for a light and smiled when he commented on the first scents of spring. No one saw him again.
The seventh year, Subaru looked in the mirror and failed to see Hokuto. The face was much too angular, the shoulders too wide and it felt like losing her all over again. He didn’t care about western superstitions, not when he had already paid the price.
He only kept a mirror in the bathroom, for shaving, and learned not to stare too much at it.
The eight year he saw the first signs of the end. His work became increasingly difficult as fate tightened its hold over humanity. He knew he had little time left and doubled his efforts to find Seishirou. It was all in vain.
The ninth year, he walked calmly towards the center of the battle and took out a lighter from his pocket. Seishirou smiled.
One of them wouldn’t live to see the tenth year.