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SanaYuki challenge 4: Our Distance and That Person 
21st-Jul-2005 09:17 pm
Title: Mansex, Interrupted
Author/Artist: Penguin
Pairing: Sanada x Yukimura
Fandom: Tenipuri
Theme: 4. キミとボクのキョリとアノコ, our distance and that person
Disclaimer: The characters in this fic are intellectual property of one Konomi Takeshi, the High Holy Emperor of Tenicrack.



"Se...Seiichi--"

Yukimura smiled wickedly as he pinned Sanada to the wall, and pressed two fingers to the other's lips to silence him. Sanada moaned, nipped at the slender fingertips, wondered why it was so god damn long ago that they did this last--

"Yukimura-buchou!"

Ah, yes. That was why. A determined ball of Kirihara barreled through the clubroom door and attached itself to Yukimura, oblivious to any interruption caused.

"Bunta-sempai smashed up one of the windows with his serve and he's trying to blame it on me!" Kirihara howled.

"That's because it was your fault, you loser!" Marui retorted, attached to Yukimura's other arm. He'd apparently made a very stealthy entrance, as Sanada hadn't seen him come in; perhaps it was because he was too busy glaring daggers at Kirihara, but—

"How was it my fault?!"

"Who was the one screaming, 'The Assorted Pastry Truck is here! The Assorted Pastry Truck is here!' while I was serving, hmm? Who was the one who got my hopes up about my long-cherished childhood dream, hmm? And there's no such thing as the Assorted Pastry Truck, is there, Akaya?! HMM?! NOTHING BUT DECEPTION SPEWS FORTH FROM YOUR MOUTH!"

"It was funny! Wasn't it funny, Yukimura-buchou?!"

Sanada grit his teeth, stormed forward, and pried Yukimura out of the duo's death grip. Surprisingly, neither Kirihara nor Marui attempted pursuit as Sanada hauled Yukimura and their respective tennis bags out the door; the reason likely being that the childish insults had degenerated into a biting match.

Better place for groping needed, Sanada thought decisively. One with locks preferable.

He's actually taking control, Yukimura thought, bewildered. Blue balls are quite the motivators...

~*

Soft breath ruffled Sanada's hair as he nipped and licked a path along Yukimura's exposed collarbone. Fingers sifted through the fine black strands, and trailed down Sanada's jaw to tilt his chin up for another kiss--

"Yukimura-buchooooou!"

Surprised by the sudden shriek, Yukimura accidentally bit down on Sanada's lip. With a sigh, he dug in his pocket for a handkerchief.

"Yes, Akaya?" came the clipped reply. Yukimura dabbed at Sanada's mouth gently with the cloth, and Sanada couldn't help but melt a little through his irritation.

Kirihara stood in the doorway that led to the rooftop, panting.

"Bunta-sempai ate my English essay again, but the teacher won't believe me! Plus, I can't find one of my socks, and I bet that Bunta-sempai ate that too, and I have a big Anatomy test tomorrow that I need help studying on--"

"Akaya," Yukimura interrupted, as patiently as possible. "Remember our little talk about 'Things Akaya Should Ask Renji About First'? And about how Yukimura should only be consulted after school hours on things relating to tennis?"

Kirihara scuffed his sneaker against the rooftop pavement sullenly. "Yanagi-sempai is busy in the Applied Mad Scientistry labs today and security won't let me in."

Sanada winced as Yukimura dabbed at a particularly sensitive spot. Yukimura squeezed his arm in silent apology.

"I'm sure Yagyuu would be glad to help," suggested Yukimura. "I'm also sure that Niou would jump upon a chance to torment Bunta."

This proposition seemed to please Kirihara greatly. With a whoop, he bounded down the stairs.

"Thanks, buchou!" he called, fading into the stairwell. "I'll try not to make Bunta-sempai throw up too much!"

Yukimura's breath puffed out in a soft sigh of irritation. He bent down to inspect the damage done to his boyfriend's mouth.

"How's it feel?" he asked, trailing feather-light fingertips along Sanada's lips.

Never one to ignore an opportunity, Sanada drew Yukimura's hand up to drop kisses on its palm.

"Needs sex to make it better," he diagnosed.

Yukimura chuckled, low and husky. "Well, my little patient, I'll see what I can do."

He paused.

"In the locked, off-campus, and parent-free safety of my own home, that is."

~*

"I'm glad you do house calls, Doctor Seiichi," Sanada whispered, hoarsely.

Yukimura's lips curled into a wicked smile, and he gave the knots tying Sanada's wrists to the headboard one last satisfied tug. With the patient secured, Yukimura began the examination--

Only to be interrupted by the ring of his cellphone. Yukimura gave it a molten glare. Sanada looked ready to cry from frustration.

"Seiichi, if you don't answer it, he'll keep calling back. Again and again and again and again..."

At this point, Sanada did start crying. Yukimura kissed his cheek soothingly, and bent to fish his phone out of his pants.

"Yes, Akaya?" Yukimura said, blandly calm. The twitch belied his composure.

"Yukimura-buchooooooooooou!" shrieked Kirihara. "Bunta-sempai keeps on saying that Hermione should run off with the Giant Squid, but I know that Ron could love him better than she can!"

Yukimura stared at his cellphone for a long, stunned moment.

"...I am going to pretend that we never had this conversation," he decided, slowly.

With that, Yukimura clicked off his phone and stuffed it into his bedside drawer. Sanada blinked back more tears, his wounded lip trembling.

"Is...is he gone?" he whimpered, softly.

"Shh," soothed Yukimura. "Doctor Seiichi needs to continue the examination."

Yukimura rustled in the drawer for a moment before he straddled Sanada's hips. He smirked.

"But first, of course," he said, tapping the thermometer against his palm. "We need to take your temperature."

THE END.

Comments 
22nd-Jul-2005 01:45 am (UTC)
omg..... i think i just died laughing.

that was great ^_^
22nd-Jul-2005 03:20 am (UTC)
Thanks! ♥ Glad you liked it.
22nd-Jul-2005 02:08 am (UTC)
I ask myself, 'Will I ever stop torturing Sanada?' I answer, 'No.'

Ah, the day you do, the world will become just that much darker. xDD
22nd-Jul-2005 03:21 am (UTC)
Then I must continue to let my little cracky candle glow. ;_____;
22nd-Jul-2005 04:38 am (UTC)
hehehe poor Snada so frustrated, nice fic and I just CAN imagine doctor Seichi >D heheh tourmented Sanada is great!
LOL...with the squid? really...^^;
22nd-Jul-2005 08:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks! ♥ Tormenting Sanada is a favorite pasttime of mine, as you can readily see.

Of course. Giant Squids need lovin', too! D:
22nd-Jul-2005 11:27 am (UTC)
XD LOL... my gosh XDD
22nd-Jul-2005 08:35 pm (UTC)
...I hope that's a good "my gosh." X3 Glad you liked!
22nd-Jul-2005 12:51 pm (UTC)
XD So many fantastic lines! I especially liked the Applied Mad Scientistry labs and crying-Sanada. XD Brilliant work! Can't wait for more! *grin*
22nd-Jul-2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
Your icon is lovely! May i ask if it's fanart?
22nd-Jul-2005 12:57 pm (UTC)

hilarious and totally amusing! i love your characterizations! ^_______________^
22nd-Jul-2005 08:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ♥ Sanada begs to be teased, I swear. Least that's how I justify myself. X3
22nd-Jul-2005 01:11 pm (UTC)
Loved it!

And that Giant Squid mention made me laugh.
22nd-Jul-2005 08:57 pm (UTC)
I thought the Squid merited a mention, what with the new book out. X3 And thank you!
22nd-Jul-2005 09:25 pm (UTC)
Oh gods, I just laughed so hard I went all dizzy. That was great. XD
23rd-Jul-2005 02:17 am (UTC)
I'm glad you liked! But, eep, I mean not to cause motion sickness! :x;;
23rd-Jul-2005 02:59 am (UTC)
Soooou cute!! X3 *squee*
23rd-Jul-2005 03:32 am (UTC)
Thank you! ♥ I heart writing cracky-fluff.
23rd-Jul-2005 03:06 am (UTC)
SO OOC but SO what I needed right now pwahaha *LOVE*!!
23rd-Jul-2005 03:33 am (UTC)
It's always an adventure to see how far OOC I can get the characters before they implode. ♥ Glad you liked!
23rd-Jul-2005 09:58 pm (UTC)
Fwee, haha, I love Kirihara and Marui. <3 Awesome work with this. Sanada is so the uke. XDD
23rd-Jul-2005 11:36 pm (UTC)
I love writing that dynamic duo, yes I do. ♥ Thanks!
24th-Jul-2005 01:55 am (UTC)
Came here via tomomichi and DIED. Laughing. In a very good way. XD

Poor Sanada, indeed, except, sadly, I cannot help but still think that Kirihara is so cute. ::cringes and ducks:: Er. Yes.

And the HP lines killed me, especially the Ron-esque line from Kirihara bout Bunta-senpai eating his sock, hehehe. ♥
24th-Jul-2005 06:01 pm (UTC)
But Aka-chan is cute, oh yes he is! *pinches his cheek* If he wasn't, I don't think Yukimura could put up with him.

The new book put me in a sort of HPish mood, so. X3 I'm glad it didn't make the fic too awkward. I'm glad you liked! ♥
24th-Jul-2005 03:23 pm (UTC)
Simply brilliant... I love the unique spin on this theme, and annoying!Kirihara is just too adorable...
24th-Jul-2005 06:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks much! ♥ All the other fics on this theme are variations of GREAT AND TERRIBLE ANGST, so I decided to mix it up a bit with GREAT AND TERRIBLE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION instead.
2nd-Aug-2005 03:46 am (UTC)
*dies, just dies* 8DD!@ Have I mentioned that I fucking adore you lately? *worships*


I must go check the memories for more~ Any chance these are archived anywhere else? 8D

2nd-Aug-2005 08:36 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks! ♥ I aim to please, amuse, and make Sanada cry. (A time-honored pasttime.)

Most of my entries are also archived in my personal journal, along with my various other fic. I have not the moolah or the HTML-savvy to whip up my own fic site, sadly.
10th-Aug-2007 05:29 pm (UTC)
Aw~ I just found this fic but it's so damn hilarious and brilliant ♥
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