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# 04 - Bleed Like You 
5th-Feb-2005 07:02 pm

Title: Bleed Like You.
Author: Bri (acquisition ).
Pairing: Roy Mustang/Edward Elric, with large doses of Envy.
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist.
Theme: # 04 キミとボクのキョリとアノコ (Our distance and that person)
Disclaimer: Neither the characters nor the show belong to me, sadly; otherwise, there would be quite a few changes... >.> Sigh, my life.
Notes: This one gets the dreaded NC-17 rating, for voyeur!Envy watching Roy and Edward and being amazingly... well, envious. I'm very dissatisfied with everything I write lately; I'll understand if anyone thinks it's awful. This one is also more sporadic, as it's focused on Envy more than the actual Roy/Edward aspect, and I figure that his thoughts have got to be a little jumpy. xD


Do you think I can't fucking see you in there?

It was cold, Envy decided. It would rain soon, too, because he could feel it in the air and see it in the way the clouds moved to cover the moon, but it didn't matter. Let it rain; he wasn't about to move. This was what he lived for now, what he craved – waiting for night to come, for his chance to mentally tear Edward apart and condemn him in some of the darkest ways he knew how.

Envy saw all his secrets, unbeknownst to Edward. Because Envy had a certain way about him, a way that could find just the right spot to stand in that would make him invisible to the human eye and yet still have a full view of everything that went on inside that bedroom. Everything.

What had been a one-time occurrence was now habitual, because it gave Envy the opportunity to watch Edward, take in all his mannerisms and barrier-droppings that he would have never seen otherwise. Long had the homunculus suspected that Edward hid something dark and potentially reputation shattering from the rest of those that knew him – now Envy knew. He knew, and it all made perfect sense.

It always started the same way, regardless of how it ended. Subtle touches, fingers feathering over lips or the slightly exposed stretch of pale skin. Kisses, firmer touches, nibbling Ed's neck – Envy had seen the reactions that got, the slight shivers and fluttering of eyelids, saw Edward's fingers slide into jet black hair.

It always started the same, but tonight, it turned. Envy's lip curled, disgusted, yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene that unfolded on the other side of that glass. Death and sex were both equally magnetic – no one really, truly wants to watch either, yet at the same time, they simply can't pull their eyes away.

Look at you. Look at you, letting him take complete control of you the way he does. Ironic, isn't it; how 'he who shall never be had' ended up being 'he who shall fall into his Taisa's bed' rather easily, Edward, don't you think? Do you even realize what you've been doing, you stupid child? You're clueless and ignorant like this. You don't even fight him the way you should, the way you would if it were anyone else.

The first mix of lightning and thunder came then, and Envy flinched somewhat, hiding himself just before Edward's head snapped up to look at the window because of the sound. Muffled speech started, and Envy's stomach knotted, sick that he couldn't make out a word of what was being said. This wasn't fair, this fucking window that separated him from his target and had been doing it for months now, a year, maybe, or maybe longer – he'd lost track of the stretch of time this had been going on. Even then, he knew he hadn't seen it since the beginning. He came along somewhere in the middle. Violet eyes rolled in disgust, thinking of how long it may have been going on.

Edward was seventeen now. Sixteen when Envy accidentally found out. Fifteen, fourteen... twelve and when he came here?

Oh, Mustang. Your dirty little habits are going to catch up with you one day.

He stood again, knowing that they'd have already started back and he was missing this, seeing Edward in this weakened state. He was right. Their clothing had still been on the last time he'd looked. He felt what he assumed to be nauseous; his throat was hot, constricting, and he hated it.

Disgusting.

Roy's hands finally came into view then, fingers splayed across the bottom of Ed's foot, light brushes across the arch and golden eyes closed, the younger man grinning and twisting his foot. Those same fingers ghosted across the tips of his toes, ran up the top of his foot and further upward, the same touches to the back of his knee and Envy heard laughter. It was a sweet, almost innocent sound, filling him with light but in turn making his eyes go dark. He hated this, hated Roy, hated Edward, hated himself for his inability to turn back now and all the previous times played through in his head repeatedly. He was a part of this, whether or not they realized it. He'd turned himself into some pathetic sort of voyeur - their voyeur – and in that, all the power he received from knowing seemed meaningless.

I do this because I hate you, because I know I can use it to break you. I can, and I will, someday, when I'm satisfied that all I need to know has been learned. You hide your weak side so well, Edward, but not well enough. You don't hide it from me, and that's been your biggest mistake yet.

Slowly, a malicious sort of grin curved Envy's lips upward, twisted his features as he watched a hand slide across the inside of the blonde man's thigh and then curve into him, watched hips arch to those touches. He noticed that Ed's eyes were closed, mouth opened silently, and in that moment he felt purely malicious. They both belonged to him, whether they realized it or not.

Look at the way you squirm, the way you silently beg for it. Do you even beg, Edward? Of course you do; you will. All I have to do is wait for it. I can see it in your face, even if I can't hear you. You're so different here, so possessed, so focused and yet not. You both know what you want, and it's him, so obviously him and you can't stand how he makes your skin crawl. You can't stand it, yet you beg for it, because you want him underneath forever. This is your rapture, the only thing that brings it, the only thing that allows you to scream out everything you hold inside when you aren't here.

He brings it to you, and you truly believe he's the only one who can liberate you. Don't lie to yourself.


Roy was inside, and Edward screamed, right on cue. There was no waiting with them, no preparations, no adjustments, no tenderness. Lips crashed together and flesh fingers gripped until knuckles were white; his chest had stopped moving. Edward was dying and Envy knew he loved it, wanted Roy to kill him in this way. His toes curled and bunched in their sheets, then Envy couldn't see his face anymore, blocked by black as Roy's head dipped and dropped hard kisses along his younger lover's collarbone.

The clouds opened up and rain started to fall, quickly covering Envy and making dark hair stick to his face, his arms, his back. Briefly he considered leaving, but decided against it. It was too late now. He was too aware, too painfully aware of it all, of this entire situation and it made his insides ache but he wouldn't dare call it by its actual name, wouldn't allow himself the opportunity to remember his own name.

You always try to hold it in, but you know you can't. Breathe, Edward. Let him have you the same way you always do. You want to and you know you do, he knows you do, so fucking breathe already.

As if Edward had heard him, he gave a sharp gasp in attempt to force air into his lungs, one leg coming up and wrapping around Roy's waist tightly. Envy's hands fisted, fingernails pressing crescent shapes into his palms as he watched, revolted. This was pathetic, nauseating - covetous, envious, JEALOUS, he was nagged in the back of his mind - appalling and he was going to lose his mind if he stayed here, but his legs were locked, knees rebelled against the rest of his body and no matter how he tried, they wouldn't cooperate with him and he wanted to scream himself.

There was a reason he'd been the one called Envy.

Any minute now...

Then Edward was on top, had turned them over and now he straddled Roy indomitably, refusing to move and staring down at the older man almost deviously. Had Envy never watched this before, he'd have expected it of Edward. But because he had, it surprised him and slowly, so slowly, he smirked. There was his Edward.

One day, I will own you. One day I will be the one to determine who you come down on, who you'll spread your legs for and whore yourself out to, and it won't be him.

Envy hated Roy. He'd never had any feelings toward the man, had always been neutral and apathetic with him until he found out about Edward and Roy, and when Envy saw it, he hated him. Hated, in the same way he hated Edward, with only one small difference: he had no desire to own Roy, no want to take him over and be in absolute control of him.

One day I'll be the only one allowed above you, beneath you; the only one to see you with your hand in your hair as your hips set some erratic rhythm. You know just how to move, you know exactly what he likes and you know all the right things to say to make him grip just a little tighter, try to move a little faster. You won't allow it. You don't, even now, even when he tries to fuck you senseless you won't let him because you move out of range and scold him in a way typically reserved for small children. You have control now, just as I always expected you would.

Maybe I was wrong about you. It's in the way you ride him, control him completely even when you aren't leading this, that makes me wonder if it's been building up to this - some grand switch off point in which you become the dominating one and he falls to the back as you call the shots, you set the ground rules and determine what will and won't be done.

You move, and he follows. You shift up, and he imitates. Drive down, turn, grind, slow... there. He almost had you, but you shoved it away. Or did you? Your hands are on his stomach, balancing yourself, pressing hard, you hide your face but I know you still look the same. There's a determined, focused look on your face even with your eyes closed and it's delicious and shows you, the real you, without reticence, because in this, you're careless. This will be done your way, you told him without saying it. Your way or not at all, and he agrees.


Rain trickled down Envy's back and made him shiver, reaching back to brush it away, shift the cloth on his back so it wouldn't slide the same way. He found his breath hitched, forced it back to normalcy and slid his tongue across his lips. This would be over soon. They would go to sleep, he would go back home, and in the morning, he would be questioned but keep his secrets. No one needed to know them, anyway. This was between the three of them.

Let go.

Again, Edward knows and stiffens, head falling back to show parted lips and flushed cheeks as he grinds into Roy once more, who finishes his end with another harder grip of thighs and thrusts. Just like this, and both of them were flying to someplace known only to them, another universe entirely and away from the rest of the world. Shoulders underneath blonde hair trembled, mismatched sets of flesh and metal fingers pressed slightly into the stronger body beneath him until Roy's own hands came and took them away, making Edward lose his already delicate balance and forcing him to crash down, chest to chest, with his lover. Fingers interlaced and kisses were given, slight shifting came to become two separate beings once again and Envy found himself bored and semi-empty, as though this had ended too quickly, too suddenly, and he had no desire to be here anymore.

One day, Edward, you won't have him to fall back on.

His last narrations, however, hadn't been as wholehearted as his others had been, and he turned his head to look up at the sky. It was still raining, though he'd failed to notice for quite a while. How long had he been standing here? Not that it mattered, anyway. His subjects were too busy in post-coital bliss for his liking and he would be home soon.

Home.

Envy's fingers touched the glass that separated them briefly, tracing the outline of a well-worn and exhausted Edward before jerking his hand away as though he'd been burned, head turning as he took off running. He'd be back, the same as he always was. It would be the same as it had this time and every time before it. He had no will to change it, to make it different in any way, and so this would continue until he was caught or until he grew too bored or too disgusted or too - no, he wouldn't admit it. Wouldn't say it, wouldn't dare say it because that meant that Edward had won.

He hadn't, and Envy was in complete control of very nearly everything. He decided when things started and finished, who was happy and who was miserable, and he would be the one to decide when he'd had enough of seeing Roy Mustang fuck Edward Elric.

And one day, he'd get control of Edward Elric, too.

Comments 
6th-Feb-2005 12:26 am (UTC)
I have to admit, I haven't seen enough of FMA to say if it's canon or not, but it's well-written and I really enjoyed it. Good job. ^_^
6th-Feb-2005 03:18 am (UTC)
Thank you! ^.^
6th-Feb-2005 01:07 am (UTC)
That was beautiful. You blew me away.
6th-Feb-2005 03:19 am (UTC)
Thanks :)
6th-Feb-2005 01:45 am (UTC)
That was really good! I've only read the first 13 volumes of the manga ^_^. But I can see Envy having a side like that. It would make him mad to have something he can't imitate, and since RoyxEd is my FMA OTP and Envy is such my favorite bad guy, that was <3 and I can't wait for you to write something you *are* satisfied with.
6th-Feb-2005 03:21 am (UTC)
I'm developing such a soft spot for Envy, I had to incorporate him somehow, and when I got this idea, I knew I had to write it. xD Thank you for the feedback!
6th-Feb-2005 02:46 am (UTC)
:D YAY. I <3 you.

And your awesome icon. ._. So cute. ::is tempted to use it::
6th-Feb-2005 03:23 am (UTC)
We've had such minimal contact and yet I adore you so much, I'm pathetic. XD

I love that icon, it makes me squish a lot. I got it from over on GJ; I'm sure if you credited her for it she wouldn't mind if you snagged it. ;)
6th-Feb-2005 03:29 am (UTC)
:D Let's be LJ friends. Add me to your friends list or you die. :P

OOOH, another pretty icon. ._. Yes, I will snag some of them, thank you for pointing me in the right direction. <3
6th-Feb-2005 03:40 am (UTC)
XD A woman after my own heart! Death threats = true love. <3 Obviously why we're honeymooning in the Caribbean. ;)

No problem! <3
6th-Feb-2005 03:46 am (UTC)
Too bad I already have a girlfriend. XD But the more the merrier! :D ::adds you:: <3
6th-Feb-2005 03:50 am (UTC)
It's okay, I've got a twin that would kill me if I honeymooned with anyone else. XD Adds you too! <3 And I'm already spamming your journal with useless comments, go figure, sigh.
6th-Feb-2005 03:58 am (UTC)
Oooh! I loved it. First of all, I love Envy, he's my favorite homonculus (forgive me for killing the spelling if I did *currently in pain*) and Roy/Ed is my favorite pairing. So awesome job! ^___^!!!
6th-Feb-2005 04:09 am (UTC)
Thanks so much!
6th-Feb-2005 04:21 am (UTC)
*dies* you kill me.

so much..so much love in that fic. And the writing style. I couldn't stop reading until I hit the end. write more MORE! *or will stab you* I must see more of this FMA roy/ed ness. ;-;

and the Envy...omg the envy...You make me wanna cosplay Envy too. T.T *paws* I wanna friend you coz you're writing's so good. *is taking it a bit far now*

*forces self to stop and crawl away*
6th-Feb-2005 04:36 am (UTC)
I don't mean to kill! ;_;

I'm glad you liked it! XD DEATH THREATS! I love it, sigh. I am currently working on another one as we speak... >.> I might be doing this too fast. Oh well.

Cosplay Envy! Envy doesn't get enough love, really. Sigh. <3 You can add me if you like! I'm in sore need of LJ friends. I'll add you too. ;*
6th-Feb-2005 05:55 am (UTC)
YAY! I'ma add you! FRIENDSNESS!! *screams with happiness* aaaaaah...you make me wanna cosplay Envy...I need to flatten my tummeh.
6th-Feb-2005 05:14 am (UTC)
Oho. NICE. This just... worked.
6th-Feb-2005 05:42 am (UTC)
Thanks! ^.^
7th-Feb-2005 12:54 am (UTC)
that was great! *peace sign* ur really good!
7th-Feb-2005 04:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
15th-Jan-2006 04:12 am (UTC) - Fucking fuketard
Anonymous
Listen buddy, Im fucking sick of all this homo-sexual crap in FMA fanfics.I've seen all the episodes, and Envy is one of my favorite charecters.Also, Roy is with Hawkeye, not Ed, and Ed isent gay.Geez, Im feeling SICK after finding all these Gay fanfics of my favorite Manga/Anime.YOur writing is good though, if only it wasent about my fav charecters being gay...
3rd-Mar-2006 07:03 pm (UTC) - Re: Fucking fuketard
Anonymous
~~To the Baka: ...hmm...baka, if you don't like the things, then why the heck do you read them?

~~To The Wonderful Writter: Wonderful story~! Envy is insane, but I hate him so much that I love him. Kinda twisted that I read anything with him in it...even though I say that I hate him... Course I only began to hate him because he killed a fav character of mine...

Wah~! Anyway keep up good work!
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